This summer I decided to go on one of the youth trips (like last summer). Our youth have three main trips in the summers: Centrifuge, PowerPlant, and World Changers. I signed up for PowerPlant because I love serving with church plants. Unfortunately, we didn't have very many youth sign up for PowerPlant this year. I was needed as a chaperone for the Centrifuge trip. To be honest, I wasn't too excited at first. Don't get me wrong - I like Fuge, but I wanted to go to PowerPlant. Well, we went to Fuge and it was a good week. I had fun and learned lots. It was trying at times but also encouraging.
Our World Changers team left today. I must say that I miss going to WC every year. I have been to seven WC projects in the past ten years. My Mom called to tell me something yesterday. The first thing she asked was "Do you want to go to World Changers?" I was at a loss. I said, "What?!" She asked me again. I paused and thought about it. Yes! Wait, I have stuff to do. I have a meeting on Tuesday that I can't get out of. I have another meeting Thursday, not required though. I have to run the computer. etc. I wanted to say "Yes. I'll go home and pack and be ready to leave in the morning." But I couldn't. Needless to say, it kinda bothered me. This opportunity arose, but I couldn't/didn't take it.
[On another note... hang with me... it'll all tie together...]
Last night, some feelings overflowed out of me. Not good feelings either. These feelings were insecurity and selfishness. I had been feeling insecure and selfish for a little while, but last night it was time for them to come out. Ready or not. My husband knew something was on my mind. So he inquired. My stubborn self tried to hold back, but I couldn't. I miss getting flowers. I miss getting stuff for me. I'm tired of cleaning and doing laundry. I'm not good enough. There are fifty million things going on in my head. etc. And he had words to share with me... words that were true even though they were hard for me to swallow. He reminded me of one of our devotions we read recently - about being thankful instead of complaining. I was thankful, really. I have been blessed far more than I deserve. But at the same time, I was listening to "these lies" as he called them. He also pointed something out to me - I need to focus on one thing at a time... pick one thing to start and let that be my focus until I finish it... that way I wouldn't be overwhelmed (hopefully).
Well, all of this to say that I have come to a few realizations...
- I'm not good enough. I never will be. I am who God has made me. I have to trust that He knows what's best and He will be my strength. Sure gifts are nice, but they're not a necessity. Sure time would be nice, but really I have it... I just need to make the most of it.
- I do need to focus on one thing at a time. Get one task down and then tackle something else. I will finish as much of my summer list as possible in these last few weeks.
- We are put in certain situations for a reason. Enjoy the time you have, where you have it, with you have it, and learn something new.
- I am blessed!! Great family, good friends, nice home, clothes to wear, food to eat, able to travel...
- Insecurity and selfishness may return, but I don't have to listen to them.
- We don't always know how much time we have left to live.
I love music! It often reminds us of truths we need to hear. Here are a few that have brightened my day...
Mirror, Mirror by Barlow Girl,
Beautiful by Mercy Me - another gal (
http://vinson-nicole.blogspot.com/) enjoyed this song recently as well...
I hope y'all have a wonderful Saturday!
Until next time,
Live life to the fullest!
Note: When I get my pictures uploaded from my camera to my computer, I will share with you some good eats that I made recently. :)
